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  • Missy

Dear Doctor

Dear Doctor,

Let me start off by saying that I respect the fact that you have spent years educating yourself on your field, and many more years in practice as a professional. I also understand that I am coming to you for help because I do not have the answers.

However, please do not have all the answer before I have presented you with the issue. I find this behavior to be insulting and a waste of my time, effort and energy. Every child does not fit into your “textbook” of theories.

As a concerned and dedicated mother, I demand your attention to the issues that “my child” is having. You are being paid for the 15 minutes that you spend with us. Devote a part of that 15 minutes to listening without the intent to respond before understanding. Every visit and patient should be treated as a unique experience. By doing so, we will both leave with a positive experience and a better understanding. Do better… by being better.

-Mother Bear

Some of you are aware that Eden has been experiencing sleep issues. These problems started about a month ago. Prior to recent events, Eden slept throughout the night with no issues. She tosses and turns most of the night, cries in her sleep several times before being fully awake and extremely irritable, and inconsolable at times. Once I calm her down, or give her pain medication (not even sure if it’s pain and medication is a last resort …but it helps when she’s inconsolable), she tosses and turns again and extend her arm midair until she falls into a deep sleep around 4-5am. It is an exhausting experience for all of us.

Eden has a night time routine that consists of bath, reading, prayers… then bed at a schedule time. She is okay with sleeping alone and is not afraid of the dark. Her bed is in our room where we keep it nice and comfortable for her. Eden does snore and pauses slightly at times, she has very mild obstructive sleep apnea and has had several sleep studies and a recent MRI.

It is very frustrating to be told that this is normal, when it is not her normal and distressing for her. It is incredible upsetting to be told that she could be sleep walking or having night terrors. Neither of those fit the situation. It is downright unacceptable to be referred to someone that is so certain about his answers when he is clueless to the facts. Why is he clues? Listening with the intent to respond before understanding. He has already decided what is going on before I complete a sentence. He is too busy interrupting with opinions based on half-truths. Why? Because he prefers to waste our 15 minutes on his “textbook” theories instead of doing the work to find a solution that is unique to our experiences. Give me a resolution based on test results, exams, knowing the history and facts related to “this” patient.

Now what? We repeat the sleep study and take those results to a new Sleep Specialist. Why a new specialist? Because I value my daughter’s health and quality of life. At this time, I am her voice and she will be heard. Next!

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